Adulting is the practice of behaving as an adult, especially taking responsibility for everyday distasteful but necessary tasks. It isn’t what I was thinking of when we were kids wishing we could be all grown up. When was the last time you heard a seven-year old say, “Man, I can’t wait til I’m a grown up so I can pay bills and clean the toilets”?
When I was kid, one of my favorite treats was maraschino cherries. Sometimes I would sneak into the kitchen and quietly reach all the way to the back of the fridge to pluck out the forgotten jar of sticky red fruit. I never stopped at one. I rarely stopped at two. I imagined a day when I could waltz right in whenever I wanted and eat cherries with a spoon in broad daylight.
But now that I’m grown, I practice responsible adulting all the time. Especially where maraschino cherries are concerned
No I don’t. I didn’t live this long just to eat my ice cream with one freakin’ cherry on top.
If you’re suffering from chronic adulthood, I’ve published my personal treatment — if not a cure — for the condition here:
Chocolate-Cherry Adults-Only Sundae
- Vanilla ice cream
- 1 good squirt of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup
- Maraschino Cherries, de-stemmed and halved
- Maraschino cherry juice, to taste
- Spoon vanilla ice cream into a modest-sized bowl. Yes, modest. You’re an adult, not a glutton.
- Squirt the Hershey’s chocolate syrup on top of the vanilla ice cream.
- Chop the ice cream with a spoon until chocolate and ice cream are thoroughly combined. You’re feeling younger already, aren’t you?
- Sprinkle maraschino cherry halves on the ice cream. If you feel particularly old, add a few more. Add them whole if you want.
- Pour the maraschino cherry juice in an even stream over the whole mess.
- Swirl the ice cream until the consistency of a thick shake. Go ahead. Play with your food.
- Serve in pajamas curled up on the couch.
- Thank your lucky stars you’re finally old enough to eat as many cherries on top of your ice cream as you damn well want.
Note: Not suitable for children. If they eat unlimited maraschino cherries now, the only thing they’ll have to look forward to in adulthood is paying bills and cleaning toilets.
2 thoughts on “Adulting with a Cherry on Top”
Last week when I sprained my ankle, o was alone in the kitchen and sad about my pain.
Our neighbors had a get together and somehow Hershey’s syrup found its way into our refrigerator.
I opened up the frig , going for an apple when I saw it. I took that large squeezable container, lifted it up over my head, pushed back the cap and squeezed chocolate right into my mouth! Twice!
Left the apple right where it was and went to bed.
I went to sleep thinking of the same thing you’re talking about here.
When did I get so serious?